i'm gonna leave you.

things won't be the same after i leave.
you'll see what you've been missing.
you'll see what's been happening.

or maybe you won't.

maybe you haven't...

maybe you'll stay the same way you are now.

and maybe things will be better for you.

that would be something wouldn't it?

death

i felt death a few weeks ago.
i felt it up close for the first time.
and i feel so close to it now, i don't even know what to do anymore.

don't tell me you're sory,
i was obviously some booty call.
i was obviously just used,
and you're obviously a lie.

sorry you don't know what you feel anymore,
but i sure know what i feel.
pain.

saying sorry won't make things better.

don't come to south carolina.
stay where you live.
stay there for the rest of your life.

Soul Meets Body

everything is so fresh and beautiful.
filling my lungs with air never felt so natural,
but then again,
nothing's been this easy.
not until days ago.

i found out that i'm IN love with you,
and i couldn't help but think the whole drive home,
"is this supposed to happen this fast?"

it is.
because everything happens for a reason.
&&i was meant to be yours.
:D

this is the first day of my life,
and you're the first thing i saw.
you're the first thing i breathed in,
you're the first thing i've truly loved.

&&have you ever heard them say
"third time's the charm"?
you're my third love,
and i have an amazing feeling.

i can't believe you gave her up for me.
she's so much better in every way.
and still, you see me as the prize,
while you're they lucky winner.

you never cease to amaze me.

when i felt love with you,
i was thinking "what in the purple mountains majesty is happening to me?!"
then i realized it's because i'm in love
you may think it hard to believe, dear reader,
but it's true,
and love takes over quickly~
and it won't let go.

i hope it never lets go of us.
iloveyouaprilnecoleezell.

silence speaks. one last word.

we'll ask then question,
and you'll tell the answer.

things have changed,
and never stop changing.
i sit in the car with my knees pulled up to my chest,
gripping my ipod with all the force my hands can take.
i wish that instead of riding in a car\to a funeral,
i could be running through a field in a dark red dress.

i wish someone would follow me and snap pictures,
and capture moments filled with love and happiness.
too bad Louise is dead,
because no one's happy now.

i experienced death today,
it wasn't what i expected...
it wasn't what everyone said it was.
i saw her pale skin,
and her closed eyes.
she looked so peaceful.
she looked so happy.

people say loosing someone is hard,
but even though i miss her,
i'm not sad..
i'm not crying..
i'm not cutting..
things have changed for the better.

today i sent you a message,
and i think of what would of happened if we went with instinct,
and ended it.
i would have cried,
because i love you already,
you're easy to love,
you're easy to get along with,
you're easy to talk to.
you don't judge me anymore.

i want to live where soul meets body.

you'll never forget what it was like to be held.
to be loved.
to be longed for.

ignorance and envy is all you've come to know.

you don't think it could get worse than this, but you've never been more wrong in your life.
try to pull yourself up off the ground.
once you realized it's no use, yuo freak out.
freak out
it's all you've every been good at. once calmed down, things set in.
you finally realized you're alone, and things don't seem so bad.
things have never been better actually...

what was it like to see a dead face with your dead eyes?
was it as terrifying as you'd ever dreamed?
did you ever think it would be this easy to see your love with his eyes bulging from his head?

i've seen things you've never dreamed of.
i've seen your birh.
i've seen your death.

the things i say refuse to make sence.
my voice is cold and metalic.

things have never been better.

i'm walking on air.

there's something coming in betwen us,
it's wedging it's way into my life,
and cutting off my air supply.
and you told me nothing would tear us apart.
haha, promises, promises.

Second Chance-

&&this is my life:

let the violins play a soft, sweet melody that leaves my ears ringing,
and my head floating in the clouds.

let the piano play the sharpest keys that become distinct in the silence,
but still, somehow, seem comforting.

let the people judge me,
let me not care.

i've never been as scared to loose the most important thing i've ever recived.
you.

i've never felt as empty as i do now,
because you're not here,
you're off talking to other people,
because that's what's best.

this is my chance.

i'll tell you that i've done everything that i could possibly do to make i clear to you:
sometimes "goodbye is a second chance".

your heart beat is my favorite rythm,
and i've never felt as full as i do when your lips pressed agaisnst mine for the first time.

even now as i'm sitting here in silence,
my heart swells and the tears fall over you.

this is my one and only voice,
and i must use it wisely.

i've done the best i can,
to make you realize this is my life,
&&i hope you understand,
i'm not angry,
i'm just saying,
that sometimes goodbye is a second chance.
&&this is my chance.

A Walk to Remember,

So this will be a day that I'll always remember. I got to spend three whole days with my best friend in the whole wide world. Everything was amazing at the lake. Everything. Even though we sat around and watched soap operas and walk around, we still had each other. Who knew a nintendo DS could be the most amazing thing in the world. For Sarina and I, it was our favorite thing, because it allowed us to roleplay without getting hand cramps, (: but this was one of the best days of my life. I really hope that we'll do it again, <3

maybe he'll get lonely,

and i keep telling myself:
maybe he'll get lonely
maybe he'll want me back
maybe i'm insane.

you keep talking about this girl.
tell me how she's the best.
tell me how she's amazing.
i'll bet she's beautiful.
she's got everything but you.


remember how we used to be such great friends?
i miss it.
i miss this.
i miss you.

yesterday we had a big fight.
you couldn't stop talking about her.
i guess we're cool now,
because we must have made up.
i don't under stand how you could do this to me.
when i look back on the past 5 months of my life,
i have to laugh.

smile pretty, you sick fuck.

[IMG]http://i366.photobucket.com/albums/oo106/snotbubbleQ/meandrachelforlikethesixiesttime-8.jpg[/IMG]

is this what my life has led me to be?
feeling as if i wish i could change it all?

today,
i looked at pictures from a few years ago,
and realized that i was an ugly child.

S My D

let's start a riot.
blush it up(:
it's over.
i'm poppin' some explicit shit.

there's blood on the dance floor,
and it's all yours babe.

throw me away,
like the paper towels,
you used to wipe,
the blood off the,
bathroom floor.

wait,
that wasn't you...
that was me.

lol at my life.

open me up like christmas,
bitch.

if i gave you a kiss,
add another to the list,
let's take this slow,
don't wanna be a hoe.

Do you like my sexy hair?
I'm not wearing any underwear(:

cut me up,
take me out.

gimme gimme,
blood on the dance floor

Do you like my sexy hair?
I'm seriously not wearing any underwear...
WHAT?!

haha.
that was just me having fun(:

today was pretty....
uh...
bleh.

remember how you made me promise,
how we would talk each&&every day?

i broke that promise yesterday.

check yourself,
before you wreck yourself.

haha,
wow.

you must think i'm Miss Bipolar.
i'm too tired to put up a fight.
but the best part of a fight,
is the makeup sex(:

drama is your middle name.
but you just haven't figured it out yet.

oh irony.
well,
i'm not copying,
but it's my favorite thing now.

lol at my life.

my happieness is mixed with pain,
because i'm not completley over what we were..
does that mean i'm obsessive?
jee,
i hope not.

i know none of this made sence,
but everything i say,
makes perfect nonsence to me.
(:

18 signs your falling in love.

IF YOU DONT REPOST THIS YOU WILL HAVERELATIONSHIP PROBLEMSFOR THE NEXT 5 YEARS​!​!​!​[THIS IS ALL SO TRUE]​EIGHTEENyou get so jealo​us when someo​ne comme​nt them sayin​g they are cuteSEVENTEEN:​You look at their​ profi​le const​antly​SIXTEEN:​When you'​re on the phone​ with them late at night​ and they hang up, you still​ miss them even when it was just two minut​es agoFIFTEEN:​You read their​ Texts​ and Ims Over and over again​FOURTEEN:​You walk reall​y slow when you'​re with themTHIRTEEN:​You feel shy whene​ver they'​re aroun​dELEVEN:​When you think​ about​ them,​ your heart​ beats​ faste​r but slowe​r at the same timeTEN:You smile​ when you hear their​ voice​NINE:​When you look at them,​ you can'​t see the other​ peopl​e aroun​d you, you just see him/​herEIGHT​:​You start​ liste​ning to slow songs​ while​ think​ing about​ themSEVEN​:​They'​re all you think​ about​SIX:You get high just from their​ scent​FIVE:​You reali​ze you'​re alway​s smili​ng when you'​re looki​ng at themFOUR:​You would​ do anyth​ing for them!​THREE​:​You blush​ when u hear their​ nameTWO:You were so busy think​ing about​ that perso​n,​ you didnt​ notic​e numbe​r twelv​e was missi​ngONE:You just scrolled up to check & are now silently laughing at yourselfNOW CLOSE​YOUR EYES AND MAKE A WISHYOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.​.​.​.​.​.​.​**********​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​********************​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*****************​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*****************​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*****************​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*​*********Post this as: 18 signs ur falling in love :)And somet​hing good will happe​n to you tomorrow









and this is how i know i'm in love with you.
even though you hurt me constantly,
i'll always come back to you..

are you sure this is even a break?
because you always are saying
"single. change it"
last night it said "single. not looking"

do you have these mood swings where all you do is hurt,
the person who wants to make you happy.

is the only way to make you happy to disapear???

because if that's what i have to do,
i'll do it.
anything for you my love.

you always say you hate my best friend.
i told you to stop,
but you didn't.
but i still managed to sta in love with you.

and it kills me to know you won't read this because,
apparently you don't care enough to read this,
becasue you know i'm addicted to my blog.

so you won't know that there might be an,
accidental over dose for me,
sometime in the furtue.

because all you do is neglect me.
neglect,
distain,
depression,
suicidal.

that's how i feel right now.

and if you don't think i'll do something stupid,









watch me.

heavan forbid.

it kills me to listen to that song.
the one that reminds you of me.
everytime i listen to it,
i can't help but cry.
everytime i talk to you,
i can't help but cry as soon as we hang up.

a few days ago,
we had a serious conversation.
it was about you concern for me.
a concern that i might over dose.
over you.
there's not doubt that i would.
but you told me you wern't worth it.

to you,
you may think you're worthless.
to me,
you're everything and more.

my silent tears roll down my thiin, pale cheeks,
not becoming so silent anymore.
with every sniffle,
i know it kills you,
i know you want to comfort me,
you just don't know how to.

finaly you tell me,
"i'm sorry. i didn't mean to make you upset about it."
even though you knew that i would cry on this subject.

right know,
that's all i can think about,
because i'm thinking about how i think you're mad at me.

i should really stop thinking.
because i'm just a stupid whore.

i'll stay up all night,
untill 11:11,
just to wish that one day,
you might be mine again,
i do it every night.

i want to retrace the steps we took,
like our first real conversation.
straight music, kurt cobain, and energy drinks.
all intrests,
but once we got to flirting,
i knew we wouldn't go back to talking like that,
but boy,
how i miss it.

second,
our first conversation on the phone.
it was a fun thing.
we had a few suprises,
didn't we?
our voices for one,
sound completely diffrent from what we imagined.
and even though we thought we would have alot to talk about,
we were speachless.

third,
the first time i heard you say "i love you".
it was quiet,
and i bearly heard it,
but you really said it,
and you ment it,
not doubt about it.

fourth,
our first kiss,
it was soft and sweet.
i'll never forget how your lips tenderly pressed against mine,
and how i melted into your touch.
i'll never forget how yours hands held me while we kissed,
it was a tight grip.
i'm not sure if you were trying to make it so i wouldn't fall,
because i was so nervous,
but i do know that you always pulled me closer,
like you couldn't get enough.

i miss that.
i miss you.

i miss you,
your voice,
your touch,
your smile,
your hugs,
your kisses,
when you held my hand.

and i's die if you told me you didn't love me.

:(

i fucking hate michael frost(:

nuffsaid.

All Nereids Beware.

to the guy that can't forgive me:

take these misunderstandings.
and send them back where they came from.
thake these misunderstandings,
it's hard enough to live life

a ship wreck,
a cast away.
if the wind were down,
i could drive the bost with my size.

it's hard enough to live life without you.
do you think i would be able to survive if you just forgot about me?
i wouldn't.
you tell me that you're not over me.
you tell me that you still love me.
the question is..
are you still in love with me?
now, i'm beging to doubt it.
and one day,
if we ever get back together,
and you read this,
by chance because i gave you the link,
and you ask
"how could you have ver doubted me?"
i would tell you the straight up truth.
"because you doubted me first."

all egos aside.
what do you say?
all eogs aside.
what do you say?

coast to coast.
the high seas echo:
it's not you it's me.
"it's not you, it's me!"

take these misunderstandings,
and send them back where they came from,
take these misunderstandings,
it's hard enough to live life.

not close to my life,
where "X" makrs the spot.
strewn across the ocean floor,
where "X" marks the spot.

a ship wreck.
a cast away.

You.

so you tell me that you should stop doing pot.
i told you that a long time ago.
you tell me you feel stupid.
i felt like that since yesterday.
i've written four blogs about you,
this being my fith.
i'm making myself sick by doing things that remind me of you.

remember how i told you that i always imagined you poping up behind me?
and you said i made you feel like edward cullen?
yeah,
i miss that.
i miss you.

i miss the way we used to talk,
how i would rush to grab the phone at seven o'clock sharp.
and run into the bathroom, lock the door, and sit on the counter.
i miss that.
i miss you.

i hate how you just told me that you had been thinking.
and how you needed time apart.
am i that obsessive?
i hate this.
i hate you.

i hate how you were high,
all day yesterday.
and how you act like me loving you doesn't matter,
like it's not worth a shit anymore.
i hate this.
i hate you.

you think everything is okay.
but it's not.
nothing with me is okay.
i'mstill here for you.
even though i'm selfish and fake,
you're always there,
and i don't seserve anything close to you.
but i want to be here.
only for you.
and the only reason i cry, is because i'm worried about you.

i fell in love with your sin.
you littlest sin.

was this over before it ever began?
are you still in love with me?
are we going to be enemies?
are you my greatest failure?
answer me this:
if i died today, would you cry for me?

ily<3

Today.

first of all,
20th post.
woot woot.
i want to go somewhere today,
but i'm afraid i'll run into you.

it's only been less than one day since you left.
but i'm already calling myself a failure for not getting over you.
prehaps i'm being to harsh on myself?

i want to hang out with my friend amber.
i want to tell her eveything about yesterday.
about how you broke up with me.
about how you didn't care.
and how sarina had to help me pick up the pices(or what's left of them).
she would tell me that he's just a phase.
he might be my husband one day; he might not.
she'll bring god into it.
because it's his will.
not mine.
and you can't mess with free will.

truth be told i miss you.
and i'm not lying.

you said that kenny said i was alright.
that's bullshit.
kenny got high off his ass.
he told you that because he doesn't want you to be mad at him.
because he thinks you guys are friends.
but you're not.
you told me so.

you also told me how i would be "rachel marie frost" one day.
that was bullshit.
is this really a hiatus,
or are you just trying to be funny?
because i'm not laughing,
and there isn't a ringing of laughter in my ears.

note to self: i miss you terribly.
and this is what we call trdgedy.

first of all,
i don't think i'll ever get over you.
i've been considering an over dose for some time now.
maybe that will put you in your place.

i wonder if you remember what you wrote on my profile?
i haven't taken it off.
i never will.
it said something like:
i love you, and i will never hurt you. i have no reason to!

where's your life alert?

even so,
as i'm listening to our song
(everything-life house)
and ever as i cut myself,
i think through it all,
you still love me like you do.
i need help and i need it now.

you are the light,
that's leading me,
to the place,
where i find peace,
you are the storm,
that keeps me walking,
you are the hope,
that keeps me trusting,
you are the light,
into my soul,
you are my purpose,
you're eveything.
and how can i stand here with you,
and not be moved by you,
and you tell me,
how could it be,
any better than this?

you calm the storm,
won't you give me rest,
you hold me in your hands,
you won't let me fall,
you still my heart,
and you take my breath away,
won't you take me in?
take me deeper now?
and how can i stand here with you,
and not be moved by you?
but you tell me how could it be,
any better than this?

because you're all i want,
you're all i need,
you're eveything,
everything,
you're all i want,
all i know.
everything.
everything.

well how can i stand here with you,
and not be moved by you?
and you tell me how could it be,
any better than this?

would you tell me,
how could it be,
any better than this?

2/28/2009

today is the worst day of my life.
no doubt.
michael broke up with me.
the worst part: he doesn't even seem to care.

i can't handle being ignored.
that's what he's doing right now.

apparently he doesn't care that i'm crying my eyes out.
apparently he doesn't care that i burned my arm raw.
apparently he doen't remember me saying 'if you told me you didn't love me, i wouldn't make it out alive"

i miss the way we used to talk.
i missed the way he smelled like nothing.
miss the way he would kiss me out of love.
i miss how he would tell me about how we would be married one day.
i miss how he used to tell me that he was in love with me.

he isn't anymore.

but i still am.
so much.

sarina-
i can't belive i was about to post a mean blo about you,
for no specific reason other than i needed someone to be mean to.
i'm glad i didn't.
i don't know what i would do without you.
you're my best friend ever,
and we'll be friends in the nursing home room that we share together.
:]

michael-
there are so many things i want to say to you right now.
here are some of them because i know that you'll never read this:
you are a dumb ass with no feelings.
you're gay.
i hate you.
i love you.
i miss you.
i'm going to kill you.
i'm going to ill myself.
i want to slap you so hard it leaves a purple print on your face,
and i hope it haunts you because you know that purple is my favorite colour.
i hate how you think everything is okay.
i hate you're ignoring me.
i hate you.
i hate you.
i hate you.
i hate you.
i hate you.
i hate you.
YOU FUCKING DOUCHE BAG!
but the first thing that comes to my mind is:
i miss you.

suicide.

he broke up with me.

Fell Good Drag.

for now, lets just say that today is a bad day.

your lips.
your lies.
your lust.

and just to say i'm having what we call the "feel good drag"
this, my dear, is when you think everything is good untill it all comes down on you.
maybe i should have dyed my hair black instead of bronze.
that way i would be able to impress you,
because i know i'll never be anything but your second best friend.
and that's what sucks about our relationship.
everything sucks.
my boyfriend thinks your weird.
yours doesn't like me that much anyway,
and to tell the truth, neither of us give a fuck about it.
we're still friends.
right?

today is one of those days,
where you feel sick to your stomach,
not because you have food poisioning,
but because you're thinking.
like taking time.
setting aside.
negetives.

today is one of those days,
where you just want to sit in the darkest corner of your room,
and cut the impurities out of your life.
you do this by slicing your writs in every direction.

today is one of those days,
where you feel inspired.
you set your mind to doing something,
but almost instantly,
it's gone.
goodbye inspiration.

today is just one of those days.

i hate it how you sat,
"if you love me, you'll do this"

it makes me feel like shit.
fucking shit.

your lips.
your lies.
your lust.

today is one of those days,
where you just want to sit around with the person you're in love with,
and do "nothing"
you want to sit with them for old times sake.
but you can't, because your parents are home,
and you suck at sneaking people into your house.

today is one of those days,
where you sit in bed,
cradling your type writer,
crying and wishing you could come up with something good to write.
but you know you'll always be stuck with livejournal.
which isn't so bad,
except,
where is that going to get you anywhere in life.
where the hell are you supposed to send your stories anyway.

today is one of those days,
when early in the morning,
you take all of your notebooks,
and stand on the top of your roof.
when the wind hits,
you tear out each page of your notebook,
and let it go,
maybe it will find someone who really cares about it.
this is why i sign my stories "Unknown".
i don't deserve your attention.
i'm not that good a writer anyway.

today is one of those days,
where you feel like you have the devil in your hands.
and all of the sin in the world,
is resting right in front of you,
waiting for you to send it off,
and do work.
i'd like to send it all to you.
because i'll always be your second best friend.

but whatever.
it doesn't really matter.

i'd like to suffer my feel good drag with you.
but you're not here.

i love you.
<3

Take Me Back..

please take me back.
just..
back to when we talked.
when we talked and blew off our best friends,
just to talk to each other.
when we didn't know each other.
before i knew about your "habits".


my day was good untill i called you.
my mom and i had all day around downtown to do nothing.
nothing but loll around in furniture stores,
and look at atiques.
like i said,
my day was good.
untill i called you.

so this is life.
i found something i want.
but it can't be just so.
it sucks that i'm OCD.


everytime you're with him,
something bad happens.


YOU
FUCKING
CAN'T
GET
ADDICTED
TO
WEED!

"but i need it."

i'll bet you want it because it's all people talk about.

isn't it funny,
how everytime we get into a scuffle,
you want to "go to bed"?

i don't think it is..

i wish i could go back to last night,
when your word actually ment something to me.

where your kisses were comfort,
love,
and pride.

where is the "you" that i had last night?

i feel like shit right now.
i feel like my day has just gone down the drain.

i'm afriad that you'll break up with me,
because i'm trying to get in the way of your "problem".

i'm afraid that all your friends will hate me.

why should i care about your friends though?

you don't give a fuck about mine..


my house is so empty right now,
and i feel like the bottle of lithium in my cabinet,
is calling my name.
tempting me.

even though this isn't a good enough reason to end things,
i feel like all it's going to do,
is tear us apart.

and i knew if you told me you didn't love me,
i wouldn't make it out alive.

i can't barley see straight because of my tears.
tears mixed with mascara and eyeliner.
ouch.

even that can't compare,
to the flame licking my bare skin,
my veins so close to the top of my skin.

i hope i burn.
i hope everything burns,
underneath that flame.

i wish we could go back.

that's all that i want right now.

all i want is you.

Want.

I guess this is where i'm suposed to tell everyone that i was born without sanity?
life is so much more complicated with you around.
i've cried more often.
i've dreamed more often.
i've come to relize that my life would suck without you.
but everytime we talk, you talk about her.
you say you don't have feelings for her.
i belive you.
so much.
but she is all you can talk about.
:(

speak slow, tell me love, where do we go?
i've cried over you many times before.
i've recently cried because of our fights.
nobody really wins, persay.
but you know it's sad to look at who wins.
a fight between lovers is supposed to make their love stonger.
if they survive, that is.
but recently, i've been unable to let go of that meloncholy feeling i get everytime we do fight.
:(

when i'm feeling bad about something, you ask me what's wrong.
i say nothing.
you say tell the truth.
i begin to tell you everything.
my guts fall to the floor with a sharp smack.
tears fall.
you hush me and say it will be alright.
everything will be fine.
now you know everything.
about how i'm a failure.
insecure.
a liar.
an outcast.
but you know what it's like to be me.
:(

i miss you terribly right now.
more than i've ever missed anyone.
more than i've missed my best friend in the whole world.
it's because i'm in love with you.
it hurts me to hear you wishing for death to take you in your sleep.
it hurts me to hear about your past relationships and how they did you wrong.
it's all wrong, you and them.
if i told you i didn't love you, it would be the darkest kind of blasphemy.
if you told me you didn't love me...

well, i wouldn't make it out alive.

This Is For My Buddy: Sarina Lynch.

this is for my best friend in the whole. wide. world.

hi there, you buddy, you!
the one who helps me through everything!
who makes me happy when i'm sad!
you guessed it!
tis' Sarina Ray Kemme-Lynch.

you know how she's always there and stands up for me?
you know how she cals me all the time?

flip that around.
because that's what i do.

she says she's ugly.
i tell her to shut up and look at how pretty she is in black and bright colours.

she says she hates him
i tell her to shut up and that he loves her.

she gets a girlfriend.

what the hell do i do now?

i send her a message.
she replies.
i reply.
nothing.
nothing.
nothing.

i thought you would be able to talk to more than one person at one time.

i talk to:
Michael
Stephanie
Savannah
Amanda

and stayed on roleplay.
all.
day

don't give me this shit about being busy.
havn't you fucking heard of a cellular device?!

remember?
Gerard Gray?

yep.
yep.
yep.

are you going to ignore me for a girl you've never met?
or talk to the girl you've known since fourth grade?

i'm not saying i want you guys to break up.
i don't care what you guys do.

notice how this should be easy for you.

you talked to her all fucking day yesterday.

when you were talking to her
you could have talked to me.

and i know you'll most likely be the only one who reads this.

nobody reads my blogs except for you.

because you're my best fucking friend.

and now?
where were we?
check the play write.
ah yes.
and you see now.
we're lost.
it's all your fault.
if you could ever save me.
tell me.
you smile and say you love me.
you tell me you'll be there.
"always baby."
where are you now?
i feel as if i'm running in circles
just to find your face
and tripping over my own two feet just to please you.
oh. and is this where it ends?
my dear mr. holmes,
i do belive you're wrong this time
but of course you've gone mad, my dear watson.
-
you say you'll kill them.
i ask you why
if they try anything.
don't think i won't kick their asses.
but of course, my love
you're always there?
correct?
suddenly, blood fills the room.
draining from my wrists.
my neck
my legs.
and where are you?
any where but here.
STOP!
your point is crystal clear, my love.
we can't go anywhere if you call yourself the ass.
share the blame.
it's mine.
-
do you love me?
i wouldn't sait
if i didn't mean it
i love you with all my heart.
always babe.
you're mine.
i'm not sharing.
and they lived happily ever after.
but wait my dear reader,
where is the encore?
and you would be sad if you lost me.
i don't know weather to call you a liar
or
say i would die without you.
i know i wouldn't
i'd kill myself.
i have to try to make you happy.
it's my job.
i don't care.
just...
kiss me.