Today.

first of all,
20th post.
woot woot.
i want to go somewhere today,
but i'm afraid i'll run into you.

it's only been less than one day since you left.
but i'm already calling myself a failure for not getting over you.
prehaps i'm being to harsh on myself?

i want to hang out with my friend amber.
i want to tell her eveything about yesterday.
about how you broke up with me.
about how you didn't care.
and how sarina had to help me pick up the pices(or what's left of them).
she would tell me that he's just a phase.
he might be my husband one day; he might not.
she'll bring god into it.
because it's his will.
not mine.
and you can't mess with free will.

truth be told i miss you.
and i'm not lying.

you said that kenny said i was alright.
that's bullshit.
kenny got high off his ass.
he told you that because he doesn't want you to be mad at him.
because he thinks you guys are friends.
but you're not.
you told me so.

you also told me how i would be "rachel marie frost" one day.
that was bullshit.
is this really a hiatus,
or are you just trying to be funny?
because i'm not laughing,
and there isn't a ringing of laughter in my ears.

note to self: i miss you terribly.
and this is what we call trdgedy.

first of all,
i don't think i'll ever get over you.
i've been considering an over dose for some time now.
maybe that will put you in your place.

i wonder if you remember what you wrote on my profile?
i haven't taken it off.
i never will.
it said something like:
i love you, and i will never hurt you. i have no reason to!

where's your life alert?

even so,
as i'm listening to our song
(everything-life house)
and ever as i cut myself,
i think through it all,
you still love me like you do.
i need help and i need it now.

you are the light,
that's leading me,
to the place,
where i find peace,
you are the storm,
that keeps me walking,
you are the hope,
that keeps me trusting,
you are the light,
into my soul,
you are my purpose,
you're eveything.
and how can i stand here with you,
and not be moved by you,
and you tell me,
how could it be,
any better than this?

you calm the storm,
won't you give me rest,
you hold me in your hands,
you won't let me fall,
you still my heart,
and you take my breath away,
won't you take me in?
take me deeper now?
and how can i stand here with you,
and not be moved by you?
but you tell me how could it be,
any better than this?

because you're all i want,
you're all i need,
you're eveything,
everything,
you're all i want,
all i know.
everything.
everything.

well how can i stand here with you,
and not be moved by you?
and you tell me how could it be,
any better than this?

would you tell me,
how could it be,
any better than this?