2/28/2009

today is the worst day of my life.
no doubt.
michael broke up with me.
the worst part: he doesn't even seem to care.

i can't handle being ignored.
that's what he's doing right now.

apparently he doesn't care that i'm crying my eyes out.
apparently he doesn't care that i burned my arm raw.
apparently he doen't remember me saying 'if you told me you didn't love me, i wouldn't make it out alive"

i miss the way we used to talk.
i missed the way he smelled like nothing.
miss the way he would kiss me out of love.
i miss how he would tell me about how we would be married one day.
i miss how he used to tell me that he was in love with me.

he isn't anymore.

but i still am.
so much.

sarina-
i can't belive i was about to post a mean blo about you,
for no specific reason other than i needed someone to be mean to.
i'm glad i didn't.
i don't know what i would do without you.
you're my best friend ever,
and we'll be friends in the nursing home room that we share together.
:]

michael-
there are so many things i want to say to you right now.
here are some of them because i know that you'll never read this:
you are a dumb ass with no feelings.
you're gay.
i hate you.
i love you.
i miss you.
i'm going to kill you.
i'm going to ill myself.
i want to slap you so hard it leaves a purple print on your face,
and i hope it haunts you because you know that purple is my favorite colour.
i hate how you think everything is okay.
i hate you're ignoring me.
i hate you.
i hate you.
i hate you.
i hate you.
i hate you.
i hate you.
YOU FUCKING DOUCHE BAG!
but the first thing that comes to my mind is:
i miss you.