death

i felt death a few weeks ago.
i felt it up close for the first time.
and i feel so close to it now, i don't even know what to do anymore.

don't tell me you're sory,
i was obviously some booty call.
i was obviously just used,
and you're obviously a lie.

sorry you don't know what you feel anymore,
but i sure know what i feel.
pain.

saying sorry won't make things better.

don't come to south carolina.
stay where you live.
stay there for the rest of your life.

Soul Meets Body

everything is so fresh and beautiful.
filling my lungs with air never felt so natural,
but then again,
nothing's been this easy.
not until days ago.

i found out that i'm IN love with you,
and i couldn't help but think the whole drive home,
"is this supposed to happen this fast?"

it is.
because everything happens for a reason.
&&i was meant to be yours.
:D

this is the first day of my life,
and you're the first thing i saw.
you're the first thing i breathed in,
you're the first thing i've truly loved.

&&have you ever heard them say
"third time's the charm"?
you're my third love,
and i have an amazing feeling.

i can't believe you gave her up for me.
she's so much better in every way.
and still, you see me as the prize,
while you're they lucky winner.

you never cease to amaze me.

when i felt love with you,
i was thinking "what in the purple mountains majesty is happening to me?!"
then i realized it's because i'm in love
you may think it hard to believe, dear reader,
but it's true,
and love takes over quickly~
and it won't let go.

i hope it never lets go of us.
iloveyouaprilnecoleezell.

silence speaks. one last word.

we'll ask then question,
and you'll tell the answer.

things have changed,
and never stop changing.
i sit in the car with my knees pulled up to my chest,
gripping my ipod with all the force my hands can take.
i wish that instead of riding in a car\to a funeral,
i could be running through a field in a dark red dress.

i wish someone would follow me and snap pictures,
and capture moments filled with love and happiness.
too bad Louise is dead,
because no one's happy now.

i experienced death today,
it wasn't what i expected...
it wasn't what everyone said it was.
i saw her pale skin,
and her closed eyes.
she looked so peaceful.
she looked so happy.

people say loosing someone is hard,
but even though i miss her,
i'm not sad..
i'm not crying..
i'm not cutting..
things have changed for the better.

today i sent you a message,
and i think of what would of happened if we went with instinct,
and ended it.
i would have cried,
because i love you already,
you're easy to love,
you're easy to get along with,
you're easy to talk to.
you don't judge me anymore.

i want to live where soul meets body.