[IMG]http://i366.photobucket.com/albums/oo106/snotbubbleQ/meandrachelforlikethesixiesttime-8.jpg[/IMG]
is this what my life has led me to be?
feeling as if i wish i could change it all?
today,
i looked at pictures from a few years ago,
and realized that i was an ugly child.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
S My D
let's start a riot.
blush it up(:
it's over.
i'm poppin' some explicit shit.
there's blood on the dance floor,
and it's all yours babe.
throw me away,
like the paper towels,
you used to wipe,
the blood off the,
bathroom floor.
wait,
that wasn't you...
that was me.
lol at my life.
open me up like christmas,
bitch.
if i gave you a kiss,
add another to the list,
let's take this slow,
don't wanna be a hoe.
Do you like my sexy hair?
I'm not wearing any underwear(:
cut me up,
take me out.
gimme gimme,
blood on the dance floor
Do you like my sexy hair?
I'm seriously not wearing any underwear...
WHAT?!
haha.
that was just me having fun(:
today was pretty....
uh...
bleh.
remember how you made me promise,
how we would talk each&&every day?
i broke that promise yesterday.
check yourself,
before you wreck yourself.
haha,
wow.
you must think i'm Miss Bipolar.
i'm too tired to put up a fight.
but the best part of a fight,
is the makeup sex(:
drama is your middle name.
but you just haven't figured it out yet.
oh irony.
well,
i'm not copying,
but it's my favorite thing now.
lol at my life.
my happieness is mixed with pain,
because i'm not completley over what we were..
does that mean i'm obsessive?
jee,
i hope not.
i know none of this made sence,
but everything i say,
makes perfect nonsence to me.
(:
blush it up(:
it's over.
i'm poppin' some explicit shit.
there's blood on the dance floor,
and it's all yours babe.
throw me away,
like the paper towels,
you used to wipe,
the blood off the,
bathroom floor.
wait,
that wasn't you...
that was me.
lol at my life.
open me up like christmas,
bitch.
if i gave you a kiss,
add another to the list,
let's take this slow,
don't wanna be a hoe.
Do you like my sexy hair?
I'm not wearing any underwear(:
cut me up,
take me out.
gimme gimme,
blood on the dance floor
Do you like my sexy hair?
I'm seriously not wearing any underwear...
WHAT?!
haha.
that was just me having fun(:
today was pretty....
uh...
bleh.
remember how you made me promise,
how we would talk each&&every day?
i broke that promise yesterday.
check yourself,
before you wreck yourself.
haha,
wow.
you must think i'm Miss Bipolar.
i'm too tired to put up a fight.
but the best part of a fight,
is the makeup sex(:
drama is your middle name.
but you just haven't figured it out yet.
oh irony.
well,
i'm not copying,
but it's my favorite thing now.
lol at my life.
my happieness is mixed with pain,
because i'm not completley over what we were..
does that mean i'm obsessive?
jee,
i hope not.
i know none of this made sence,
but everything i say,
makes perfect nonsence to me.
(:
Sunday, March 8, 2009
18 signs your falling in love.
IF YOU DONT REPOST THIS YOU WILL HAVERELATIONSHIP PROBLEMSFOR THE NEXT 5 YEARS!!![THIS IS ALL SO TRUE]EIGHTEENyou get so jealous when someone comment them saying they are cuteSEVENTEEN:You look at their profile constantlySIXTEEN:When you're on the phone with them late at night and they hang up, you still miss them even when it was just two minutes agoFIFTEEN:You read their Texts and Ims Over and over againFOURTEEN:You walk really slow when you're with themTHIRTEEN:You feel shy whenever they're aroundELEVEN:When you think about them, your heart beats faster but slower at the same timeTEN:You smile when you hear their voiceNINE:When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you, you just see him/herEIGHT:You start listening to slow songs while thinking about themSEVEN:They're all you think aboutSIX:You get high just from their scentFIVE:You realize you're always smiling when you're looking at themFOUR:You would do anything for them!THREE:You blush when u hear their nameTWO:You were so busy thinking about that person, you didnt notice number twelve was missingONE:You just scrolled up to check & are now silently laughing at yourselfNOW CLOSEYOUR EYES AND MAKE A WISHYOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.......******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************Post this as: 18 signs ur falling in love :)And something good will happen to you tomorrow
and this is how i know i'm in love with you.
even though you hurt me constantly,
i'll always come back to you..
are you sure this is even a break?
because you always are saying
"single. change it"
last night it said "single. not looking"
do you have these mood swings where all you do is hurt,
the person who wants to make you happy.
is the only way to make you happy to disapear???
because if that's what i have to do,
i'll do it.
anything for you my love.
you always say you hate my best friend.
i told you to stop,
but you didn't.
but i still managed to sta in love with you.
and it kills me to know you won't read this because,
apparently you don't care enough to read this,
becasue you know i'm addicted to my blog.
so you won't know that there might be an,
accidental over dose for me,
sometime in the furtue.
because all you do is neglect me.
neglect,
distain,
depression,
suicidal.
that's how i feel right now.
and if you don't think i'll do something stupid,
watch me.
and this is how i know i'm in love with you.
even though you hurt me constantly,
i'll always come back to you..
are you sure this is even a break?
because you always are saying
"single. change it"
last night it said "single. not looking"
do you have these mood swings where all you do is hurt,
the person who wants to make you happy.
is the only way to make you happy to disapear???
because if that's what i have to do,
i'll do it.
anything for you my love.
you always say you hate my best friend.
i told you to stop,
but you didn't.
but i still managed to sta in love with you.
and it kills me to know you won't read this because,
apparently you don't care enough to read this,
becasue you know i'm addicted to my blog.
so you won't know that there might be an,
accidental over dose for me,
sometime in the furtue.
because all you do is neglect me.
neglect,
distain,
depression,
suicidal.
that's how i feel right now.
and if you don't think i'll do something stupid,
watch me.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
heavan forbid.
it kills me to listen to that song.
the one that reminds you of me.
everytime i listen to it,
i can't help but cry.
everytime i talk to you,
i can't help but cry as soon as we hang up.
a few days ago,
we had a serious conversation.
it was about you concern for me.
a concern that i might over dose.
over you.
there's not doubt that i would.
but you told me you wern't worth it.
to you,
you may think you're worthless.
to me,
you're everything and more.
my silent tears roll down my thiin, pale cheeks,
not becoming so silent anymore.
with every sniffle,
i know it kills you,
i know you want to comfort me,
you just don't know how to.
finaly you tell me,
"i'm sorry. i didn't mean to make you upset about it."
even though you knew that i would cry on this subject.
right know,
that's all i can think about,
because i'm thinking about how i think you're mad at me.
i should really stop thinking.
because i'm just a stupid whore.
i'll stay up all night,
untill 11:11,
just to wish that one day,
you might be mine again,
i do it every night.
i want to retrace the steps we took,
like our first real conversation.
straight music, kurt cobain, and energy drinks.
all intrests,
but once we got to flirting,
i knew we wouldn't go back to talking like that,
but boy,
how i miss it.
second,
our first conversation on the phone.
it was a fun thing.
we had a few suprises,
didn't we?
our voices for one,
sound completely diffrent from what we imagined.
and even though we thought we would have alot to talk about,
we were speachless.
third,
the first time i heard you say "i love you".
it was quiet,
and i bearly heard it,
but you really said it,
and you ment it,
not doubt about it.
fourth,
our first kiss,
it was soft and sweet.
i'll never forget how your lips tenderly pressed against mine,
and how i melted into your touch.
i'll never forget how yours hands held me while we kissed,
it was a tight grip.
i'm not sure if you were trying to make it so i wouldn't fall,
because i was so nervous,
but i do know that you always pulled me closer,
like you couldn't get enough.
i miss that.
i miss you.
i miss you,
your voice,
your touch,
your smile,
your hugs,
your kisses,
when you held my hand.
and i's die if you told me you didn't love me.
the one that reminds you of me.
everytime i listen to it,
i can't help but cry.
everytime i talk to you,
i can't help but cry as soon as we hang up.
a few days ago,
we had a serious conversation.
it was about you concern for me.
a concern that i might over dose.
over you.
there's not doubt that i would.
but you told me you wern't worth it.
to you,
you may think you're worthless.
to me,
you're everything and more.
my silent tears roll down my thiin, pale cheeks,
not becoming so silent anymore.
with every sniffle,
i know it kills you,
i know you want to comfort me,
you just don't know how to.
finaly you tell me,
"i'm sorry. i didn't mean to make you upset about it."
even though you knew that i would cry on this subject.
right know,
that's all i can think about,
because i'm thinking about how i think you're mad at me.
i should really stop thinking.
because i'm just a stupid whore.
i'll stay up all night,
untill 11:11,
just to wish that one day,
you might be mine again,
i do it every night.
i want to retrace the steps we took,
like our first real conversation.
straight music, kurt cobain, and energy drinks.
all intrests,
but once we got to flirting,
i knew we wouldn't go back to talking like that,
but boy,
how i miss it.
second,
our first conversation on the phone.
it was a fun thing.
we had a few suprises,
didn't we?
our voices for one,
sound completely diffrent from what we imagined.
and even though we thought we would have alot to talk about,
we were speachless.
third,
the first time i heard you say "i love you".
it was quiet,
and i bearly heard it,
but you really said it,
and you ment it,
not doubt about it.
fourth,
our first kiss,
it was soft and sweet.
i'll never forget how your lips tenderly pressed against mine,
and how i melted into your touch.
i'll never forget how yours hands held me while we kissed,
it was a tight grip.
i'm not sure if you were trying to make it so i wouldn't fall,
because i was so nervous,
but i do know that you always pulled me closer,
like you couldn't get enough.
i miss that.
i miss you.
i miss you,
your voice,
your touch,
your smile,
your hugs,
your kisses,
when you held my hand.
and i's die if you told me you didn't love me.
Monday, March 2, 2009
All Nereids Beware.
to the guy that can't forgive me:
take these misunderstandings.
and send them back where they came from.
thake these misunderstandings,
it's hard enough to live life
a ship wreck,
a cast away.
if the wind were down,
i could drive the bost with my size.
it's hard enough to live life without you.
do you think i would be able to survive if you just forgot about me?
i wouldn't.
you tell me that you're not over me.
you tell me that you still love me.
the question is..
are you still in love with me?
now, i'm beging to doubt it.
and one day,
if we ever get back together,
and you read this,
by chance because i gave you the link,
and you ask
"how could you have ver doubted me?"
i would tell you the straight up truth.
"because you doubted me first."
all egos aside.
what do you say?
all eogs aside.
what do you say?
coast to coast.
the high seas echo:
it's not you it's me.
"it's not you, it's me!"
take these misunderstandings,
and send them back where they came from,
take these misunderstandings,
it's hard enough to live life.
not close to my life,
where "X" makrs the spot.
strewn across the ocean floor,
where "X" marks the spot.
a ship wreck.
a cast away.
take these misunderstandings.
and send them back where they came from.
thake these misunderstandings,
it's hard enough to live life
a ship wreck,
a cast away.
if the wind were down,
i could drive the bost with my size.
it's hard enough to live life without you.
do you think i would be able to survive if you just forgot about me?
i wouldn't.
you tell me that you're not over me.
you tell me that you still love me.
the question is..
are you still in love with me?
now, i'm beging to doubt it.
and one day,
if we ever get back together,
and you read this,
by chance because i gave you the link,
and you ask
"how could you have ver doubted me?"
i would tell you the straight up truth.
"because you doubted me first."
all egos aside.
what do you say?
all eogs aside.
what do you say?
coast to coast.
the high seas echo:
it's not you it's me.
"it's not you, it's me!"
take these misunderstandings,
and send them back where they came from,
take these misunderstandings,
it's hard enough to live life.
not close to my life,
where "X" makrs the spot.
strewn across the ocean floor,
where "X" marks the spot.
a ship wreck.
a cast away.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
You.
so you tell me that you should stop doing pot.
i told you that a long time ago.
you tell me you feel stupid.
i felt like that since yesterday.
i've written four blogs about you,
this being my fith.
i'm making myself sick by doing things that remind me of you.
remember how i told you that i always imagined you poping up behind me?
and you said i made you feel like edward cullen?
yeah,
i miss that.
i miss you.
i miss the way we used to talk,
how i would rush to grab the phone at seven o'clock sharp.
and run into the bathroom, lock the door, and sit on the counter.
i miss that.
i miss you.
i hate how you just told me that you had been thinking.
and how you needed time apart.
am i that obsessive?
i hate this.
i hate you.
i hate how you were high,
all day yesterday.
and how you act like me loving you doesn't matter,
like it's not worth a shit anymore.
i hate this.
i hate you.
you think everything is okay.
but it's not.
nothing with me is okay.
i'mstill here for you.
even though i'm selfish and fake,
you're always there,
and i don't seserve anything close to you.
but i want to be here.
only for you.
and the only reason i cry, is because i'm worried about you.
i fell in love with your sin.
you littlest sin.
was this over before it ever began?
are you still in love with me?
are we going to be enemies?
are you my greatest failure?
answer me this:
if i died today, would you cry for me?
ily<3
i told you that a long time ago.
you tell me you feel stupid.
i felt like that since yesterday.
i've written four blogs about you,
this being my fith.
i'm making myself sick by doing things that remind me of you.
remember how i told you that i always imagined you poping up behind me?
and you said i made you feel like edward cullen?
yeah,
i miss that.
i miss you.
i miss the way we used to talk,
how i would rush to grab the phone at seven o'clock sharp.
and run into the bathroom, lock the door, and sit on the counter.
i miss that.
i miss you.
i hate how you just told me that you had been thinking.
and how you needed time apart.
am i that obsessive?
i hate this.
i hate you.
i hate how you were high,
all day yesterday.
and how you act like me loving you doesn't matter,
like it's not worth a shit anymore.
i hate this.
i hate you.
you think everything is okay.
but it's not.
nothing with me is okay.
i'mstill here for you.
even though i'm selfish and fake,
you're always there,
and i don't seserve anything close to you.
but i want to be here.
only for you.
and the only reason i cry, is because i'm worried about you.
i fell in love with your sin.
you littlest sin.
was this over before it ever began?
are you still in love with me?
are we going to be enemies?
are you my greatest failure?
answer me this:
if i died today, would you cry for me?
ily<3
Today.
first of all,
20th post.
woot woot.
i want to go somewhere today,
but i'm afraid i'll run into you.
it's only been less than one day since you left.
but i'm already calling myself a failure for not getting over you.
prehaps i'm being to harsh on myself?
i want to hang out with my friend amber.
i want to tell her eveything about yesterday.
about how you broke up with me.
about how you didn't care.
and how sarina had to help me pick up the pices(or what's left of them).
she would tell me that he's just a phase.
he might be my husband one day; he might not.
she'll bring god into it.
because it's his will.
not mine.
and you can't mess with free will.
truth be told i miss you.
and i'm not lying.
you said that kenny said i was alright.
that's bullshit.
kenny got high off his ass.
he told you that because he doesn't want you to be mad at him.
because he thinks you guys are friends.
but you're not.
you told me so.
you also told me how i would be "rachel marie frost" one day.
that was bullshit.
is this really a hiatus,
or are you just trying to be funny?
because i'm not laughing,
and there isn't a ringing of laughter in my ears.
note to self: i miss you terribly.
and this is what we call trdgedy.
first of all,
i don't think i'll ever get over you.
i've been considering an over dose for some time now.
maybe that will put you in your place.
i wonder if you remember what you wrote on my profile?
i haven't taken it off.
i never will.
it said something like:
i love you, and i will never hurt you. i have no reason to!
where's your life alert?
even so,
as i'm listening to our song
(everything-life house)
and ever as i cut myself,
i think through it all,
you still love me like you do.
i need help and i need it now.
you are the light,
that's leading me,
to the place,
where i find peace,
you are the storm,
that keeps me walking,
you are the hope,
that keeps me trusting,
you are the light,
into my soul,
you are my purpose,
you're eveything.
and how can i stand here with you,
and not be moved by you,
and you tell me,
how could it be,
any better than this?
you calm the storm,
won't you give me rest,
you hold me in your hands,
you won't let me fall,
you still my heart,
and you take my breath away,
won't you take me in?
take me deeper now?
and how can i stand here with you,
and not be moved by you?
but you tell me how could it be,
any better than this?
because you're all i want,
you're all i need,
you're eveything,
everything,
you're all i want,
all i know.
everything.
everything.
well how can i stand here with you,
and not be moved by you?
and you tell me how could it be,
any better than this?
would you tell me,
how could it be,
any better than this?
20th post.
woot woot.
i want to go somewhere today,
but i'm afraid i'll run into you.
it's only been less than one day since you left.
but i'm already calling myself a failure for not getting over you.
prehaps i'm being to harsh on myself?
i want to hang out with my friend amber.
i want to tell her eveything about yesterday.
about how you broke up with me.
about how you didn't care.
and how sarina had to help me pick up the pices(or what's left of them).
she would tell me that he's just a phase.
he might be my husband one day; he might not.
she'll bring god into it.
because it's his will.
not mine.
and you can't mess with free will.
truth be told i miss you.
and i'm not lying.
you said that kenny said i was alright.
that's bullshit.
kenny got high off his ass.
he told you that because he doesn't want you to be mad at him.
because he thinks you guys are friends.
but you're not.
you told me so.
you also told me how i would be "rachel marie frost" one day.
that was bullshit.
is this really a hiatus,
or are you just trying to be funny?
because i'm not laughing,
and there isn't a ringing of laughter in my ears.
note to self: i miss you terribly.
and this is what we call trdgedy.
first of all,
i don't think i'll ever get over you.
i've been considering an over dose for some time now.
maybe that will put you in your place.
i wonder if you remember what you wrote on my profile?
i haven't taken it off.
i never will.
it said something like:
i love you, and i will never hurt you. i have no reason to!
where's your life alert?
even so,
as i'm listening to our song
(everything-life house)
and ever as i cut myself,
i think through it all,
you still love me like you do.
i need help and i need it now.
you are the light,
that's leading me,
to the place,
where i find peace,
you are the storm,
that keeps me walking,
you are the hope,
that keeps me trusting,
you are the light,
into my soul,
you are my purpose,
you're eveything.
and how can i stand here with you,
and not be moved by you,
and you tell me,
how could it be,
any better than this?
you calm the storm,
won't you give me rest,
you hold me in your hands,
you won't let me fall,
you still my heart,
and you take my breath away,
won't you take me in?
take me deeper now?
and how can i stand here with you,
and not be moved by you?
but you tell me how could it be,
any better than this?
because you're all i want,
you're all i need,
you're eveything,
everything,
you're all i want,
all i know.
everything.
everything.
well how can i stand here with you,
and not be moved by you?
and you tell me how could it be,
any better than this?
would you tell me,
how could it be,
any better than this?
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